Archive for August, 2009
Tasha has been through three obedience classes. However, she sometimes has the most appalling behavior. She acts out in ways that have been identified in dog literature as the big “no’s.” For example, she:
- Jumps on people.
- Doesn’t come when called.
- Pulls on the leash when walking.
- Raids trash cans.
- Drops a ball or stick before bringing it back (this is an enigma becasue she is, afterall, a golden retriever).
The first two classes I took her to were at PetSmart, where they taught her to sit, stay, and finally, to come when called. Okay, so she has conquered one of five: to sit before meals and biscuits. The other behavior problems are probably my fault, as I haven’t enforced them enough.
The last class I took Tasha to was an intense two-week program. Again, they taught her to sit, come, stay, to lie down, and to come when called. The problem with this class was that I didn’t go with her. I dropped her off in the morning and picked her up in the late afternoon. They didn’t show me what or how they were teaching her, so I couldn’t follow their lead. I just assumed that she had finally gone through enough behavior modification.
Not so! To this day, I live with the fact that Tasha doesn’t retrieve. This wasn’t part of her training, but I’ve lost a lot of tennis balls and good sticks this way. The jumping on people is always embarrassing, as it is when she runs the other way when I call her. I tend not to want to walk her because she pulls me all over the place. Going through the trash is treatable, and Tasha doesn’t always do this, but when she does, she knows she’s being bad. I guess that this is her form of retrieving!
It seems to be pointless, but I still try to train her. Tasha is only about three-years old. Maybe as she gets older, she’ll listen to me. Or, maybe she needs a graduate training class.
The following was found posted very low on a refrigerator door.
Dear Dogs and Cats:
The dishes with the paw prints are yours and contain your food. The other dishes are mine and contain my food. Placing a paw print in the middle of my plate and food does not stake a claim for it becoming your food and dish, nor do I find that aesthetically pleasing in the slightest.
The stairway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a racetrack. Racing me to the bottom is not the object. Tripping me doesn’t help because I fall faster than you can run.
I cannot buy anything bigger than a king-sized bed. I am very sorry about this. Do not think I will continue sleeping on the couch to ensure your comfort. Dogs and cats can actually curl up in a ball when they sleep. It is not necessary to sleep perpendicular to each other, stretched out to the fullest extent possible. I also know that sticking tails straight out and having tongues hanging out on the other end to maximize space is nothing but sarcasm.
For the last time, there is no secret exit from the bathroom! If, by some miracle, I beat you there and manage to get the door shut, it is not necessary to claw, whine, meow, try to turn the knob, or get your paw under the edge in an attempt to open the door. I must exit through the same door I entered. Also, I have been using the bathroom for years – canine/feline attendance is not required.
The proper order for kissing is: Kiss me first, then go smell the other dog’s or cat’s butt. I really cannot stress this enough.